Genting Blues

All the excitement about going to Genting disappeared into thin air even before we embarked on the trip. I don't think the person who caused the problem to crop up is ever understanding enough to think for others. Sigh.. Now I made another person guilty just because he can't be a replacement due to school commitments. What's the independence I've always been fighting for? I just realised it's all bullshit. Because it just takes one selfish person to make the rest of the world suffer. I don't feel like going anymore.. Blues...

Love is selfish.

I've never seen such a self-centered girlfriend. And I believe my friend doesn't deserve one. But to my dismay, he's sadly another "xiao nan ren". Being a feminist, I'm definitely not for the idea of having a man less than me. Being the weaker sex, I only wanted an equality of some sort with mutual understanding between a couple. I know that's difficult to achieve but it's not impossible. Sometimes, I do wish that fools in love can be more rational. But then again, who am I to judge when I had such a miserable love life when I was younger?

This scary feeling

I fainted. It's such a scary feeling. It's scarier when it's not the first time I fainted. Sometimes I think I might just die of fatigue. The life of a workaholic. I've always thought of death as acceptable, Perhaps I'm too depressed when I was younger. Now, I froze when I think of death. I feel like I've so much to give to this world. Every time I look at useless people, I just can't help but sigh. Why waste their time away when they can do something meaningful? How good will it be if I can buy their time and make it my own. It's been a long time since I had tea at Delifrance along and enjoy a good read. It's been a long time since I had dinner with my family in full attendance. It's been a long time since I had time to play with my cousins. They are growing up so fast. Sigh.. On the side note, I wish i know the kind passer-by who brought me to the doctor and paid for it. Amnesia till I get home. This is what makes my loved ones worry when I'm out alone. Really sorry for worrying you people. Thanks Roy for asking me not to overwork. I think this is a wake-up call. Enough of really late nights and long hours of tuition!

A-not-so-surprising Surprise.

To the person who cares a lot for me, thanks for being so caring and thick-skinned to give me such a "surprise"! Yeah, I guess I've changed a hell lot but hopefully, it's seen as a desirable one. I will keep this book and cherish our friendship! I really appreciate that you want to be here for me. :) Anyway I still suffer headaches when I take buses and trains, and even cabs which are in manual gear. No choice cos I've anemia as certified by my doctor. Life's never smooth and sailing. I'm sure everyone else has his/her ups and downs. And I'm no exception. Just get used to my whines here! Cos this is an outlet for me to whine, whine and whine! lol I'm sure you'll make a very good buddy! (especially if you convert to being Arsenal fan. hehe) xoxo, wuling *Change is the only thing in this world that will never change* How true it is.

Why we love to drink

Why we love to drink.. Look at all these drunkards. They look so happy when they drink. I look happy when I drink rootbeer too. :) lol Why we look silly.. It's a headgear party! There are three burglars with beanies. (See Jing, Liony and Seow) One hip-hop wannabe birthday girl. (See lucky) One ah pek (See Sammi) One who wore the hairband since JC days (See Lumpy) One with an invisible head gear. One princess wannabe me One mental patient who thought that we're having a picnic (Fun :P) Make me act crazy with her. hahaha Why I love them.. They never let you down in good or bad times. Make you feel especially good on your birthdays (by ignoring you during photo-taking) Do crazy things like croaking like a duck during taboo and expect you to say Kermit the frog. Suggest punishments for losing in open numbers and kena all of them! Making the effort to call our ex tutor and hear him bitch about a bitch! Carrying you home when you're dead drunk, even when you vomit on them Sending you home when you're dead drunk, even when you call the kind soul a taxi driver and got slapped for it. Clearing up the mess together without any complaints! (Something I'll never get to see before I met them) Forgiving you for every bad thing you do, sadly not directly praising you for the good things you do. LOL At the end of the day, Just wanna remind myself not to take these wonderful friends for granted because I don't think I can do without them! :)

Regrets

Regrets... I've too many regrets. Every time I choose a way, I tend to look at the alternatives that I could have chosen. Today, someone told me that doing that will only slow me down. This scares me.

My fugly habit

I'm a perpetual latecomer. And even I myself have enough of that. It's just not suffice to say that I've a family culture of latecomers to cultivate this bad habit of mine, nor reasonable enough to say that my secondary school friends used to hold competitions to vie for the 'latest latecomer' award during outings. I just have to face it. Being incessantly late has caused me more distress than I thought. I thought that by being late for tuition, I could make up for the lost time by keeping the kids back. Wrong. I'm such a selfish tutor. Have I forgotten that the kids might have something on later? They make it a point to be early for tuition, but all I do is to keep them waiting. And releasing them late. It's not about giving more time. It just says a lot about what kind of a person I am. And the after effects of being late? Guilt, guilt, and guilt. Not only am I late for tuition. I'm late for scrapbooking classes which I paid dearly I'm late for outings with friends I hardly have time to meet up with I'm late for lectures and worst, tutorials I'm late for family dinners (my whole family's always late) I'm late for driving lessons (I overslept for the latest lesson) I'm late for appointments to salons or anything of that sort In fact, I'm late for every single appointment on my itinerary each day. I'm such a disappointing being, ain't I? Talk about living by my own principles. If I can't even correct this bad habit of mine, what principles can I ground myself on? This issue, has been bugging me for years. I need to change. It's a must.