Threesome?

No, not what you think it is.
It just stands for the 3 layouts I did months ago for a single-parent project by some NUS students.
Must support my juniors in such a meaningful venture!

Just a couple of thoughts of what I think constitutes a happy family..
I've seen a fair share of complete family living with suspicion and distrust.
Trust me, it happens even in my family.

So the question of the day is, does it really matter whether you only have a Mum or a Dad?
Does it make you lesser than having both parents who quibble every other day?

A happy family.. is one with love and care for one another.
Without suspicion, without lies, without backstabbing, without overnight feuds.
Disagreements should only bring us closer together, a must to reach a point of understanding.
Never should it be the platform to break us apart, to hurt one another with words that last a lifetime or to sow discord within unspoken walls.

Sigh.. Many things in life are easier said than done..
That's when prayers are necessary..
With God, all things are possible!


By the way, check me out in the May bank Ad.
I look quite horrendous. lol

Thanks to the 'mature' outfit, along with the bun hairstyle and pearl accessories they don on me!
Waiting for the fat paycheck to come so that I can hoard more scrappy supplies! Hope your Monday has been good!
I'm still nursing an eye infection. Again...

Dreams in an album

It's such a delight to spot this today.

The exams are over and I've been enjoying every minute of the past few days with the boyfriend.

We're so blessed to share the same passion, occupation and dreams.

Now, we finally get to spend our free days together.

I've been wanting to share this album but the procrastinator in me shelved the idea for the longest time..

This album holds a great deal of significance to me.

It directs my life as all the dreams I want to fulfil right now are contained in it.

Isn't it one of the most therapeutic hobby around?

To not only SCRAP the pictures of the moment, but one's feelings and thoughts of the moment?

Scrap supplies:

Papers from Melissa Frances and shabby green door.

Album from Maya road

Vintage frames from Melissa Frances

Ribbons from America Crafts and Websters pages

Pins from Maya road

Alphabet stamps from Studio Calico

Thickers from AC

Flowers and roses from Prima

Chipboard house, bird, wing and heart from Maya road

German glitter glass in pink, blue and silver

Buttons and military flowers from stash

As some of you may already know, I love playing the piano.

In fact, it's my most favourite hobby before scrapbooking comes into my life.

I poured all sorts of emotions into playing the beautiful instrument, especially when I'm down.

It seems to speak to me like a good, old friend.

Always listening, never doubting.

While it still serves me like a good, old friend, scrapping becomes more than that by giving me an outlet to build dreams and memories, keepsake and reaffirming my relationships with my loved ones with a thankful heart.

I think scrappers can relate to that very often, especially when it comes to journaling their thoughts in that little album or layout or even a card!

I'm soaking in every moment I have this week to rejuvenate, recharge, rededicate my time to my loved ones!

How blessed am I!

There is magic only when you believe in it.

Hope you have a wonderful beautiful spring day.

slow down

Sometimes you slow down to move faster and further..
That's the mantra I'm adopting right now.
I'm going to relax this coming one week break, reflect on what's important in my life right now and focusing on achieving goals I've set for myself.

Probably teaching will take a backseat,
Probably scrapping will take a backseat,

And probably spending time with the neglected boyfriend will prevail.

January cards

Popping by to share some cards I made in January.
The boyfriend wanted me to make a bon voyage card for his warhammer friend.
Check out the link if you don't know what it is.
A game for boys, just like how scrapping caters to mainly us!
No idea why he loves the hobby so much, I guess I can only understand through my obsession with scrapbooking!

I have this card ready for an abusive husband and neglective father, that's my aunt's husband.
May God give me the courage to give him this card when I'm ready to only hate his sins and NOT him.

Sin is to be hated, not to be excused or taken lightly..
I want to love him, just like how Jesus loves me.
To love him, I have to tell him that he is sinning because it's not loving to allow someone to be stuck in sin.


Have you ever hold back telling your best friend or loved ones so that you don't threaten the relationships you share with them?
If you think you're doing the right thing, think again.
Sometimes, you need to make a stand to point out what they are doing hurts or harms others.
That, is what I call a true friend.

Thanks for dropping by dear friends!


Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
1 John 4:8–9

Sorry God

Today, God's words speak to me more than any other day.
Just want to share this quote here.
I lost my cool earlier in the day with a student and became really impatient with him.
That's when God was not on my mind and in me.
Then I read the daily bible verse sent to my email and saw this:

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility
toward one another,
because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace
to the humble.

1 Peter 5:5

My heart is pierced with tremendous grief.
This is the best I can describe how I felt at that time.
I felt really guilty, not merely towards the boy but towards God.
He must be infuriated with me now, for being too proud to think that's the best way to treat the poor boy.

For we are all equal before his eyes, I need to seek his forgiveness.

Dirty Scraps Challenge #2

Hi sweet ladies,

thanks so much for leaving sweet notes of love, keep them coming!
I really appreciate them greatly!!

Yesterday was the reveal of Dirty Scraps challenge #2 and this is my very first layout for DIrty Scraps!


It's titled 'Broken'.
The only journaling on this layout is placed across the title, 'as BROKEN as you want it to be'.

This serves as a reminder to me about how affected we are by others depends on how much you want others to affect you.

I've been through countless broken relationships, many of which are on the road of no return.
Sure I mourned about them day and night, even after years..
It's alright to be broken, really!
But it's not alright to remain broken because things will only become better when you reach the bottom of the pit, won't it?
So, if you're feeling broken right now, over the loss of a loved one, a painful break-up or a sudden desertion by close friends, let your hair loose and scream or cry.
Then, leave those baggages behind and move on to bigger, better things!

Here are some close-ups:




Check out the tutorial for this layout at Dirty Scraps now!
Just a side note,
I mess my hair up very often. Lol
I mess it when I'm embarrassed,
when I'm frustrated,
when I'm broken,
when I'm feeling zany,
when I want to attract attention from the boyfriend.

Have a blessed day! :)

Digging deep

I feel really ashamed, really..

When I started scrapbooking, I was hooked not only to the beautiful supplies that caught my eyes, but the meaning behind scrapping that caught my heart.
I wanted to scrap about how I feel about a picture, an idea or something to get off my chest.
Most part of my life has been lived in negativity and I wanted that to reflect in my layouts!

Never once did I have the courage to stick negative titles because every scrapper out there churned out layouts with a positive view.
Another reason NOT to do negative layouts or post negative posts is that you don't wanna be caught putting down people you love or loved.
So halfway through, I lost focus and was looking for the good things to scrap.

The closest I could get to share my really deep inner thoughts was this


I was afraid to share this..

So how did I become ashamed all of a sudden?

Visit this and you'll know why.

Pinky has balls of courage that are unrivalled.
She doesn't scrap only the good, she scraps the bad too!
I feel ashamed because I've no courage to scrap the bad past, the bad emotions but because of her inspiring challenges, I am going to go all out to scrap WHATEVER I want!

She is living up to what I think she and this challenge blog are all about!
Amazing isn't she?
Please take some time to read the brave and powerful journaling of Pinky and the other talented ladies here.
You can continue to leave your guesses for the previous post, and I feel so loved by all your wonderful comments!! :)

Annual blues heating up

I don't know if it's the looming examinations for my tuition kids, or the gazillion things that are left in my mind every single minute (thus I've no time to get down to actually finish them off!), or that I'm mulling over what a procrastinator (=LOSER) I am, or that I'm having birthday blues, or that I've deadlines to meet, or that I'm burnt out as I've been teaching every single day without resting and my weekends are not spared, or that I've mountains of papers to mark and it doesn't help having bags of scrap supplies by the dozens that are not organized, or that I'm stressed out over the birthday party preparations or that I've no idea where to even begin to NOT think about those stuff I've been mulling over... . . . . . . . . . . I'm feeling really depressed right now. So depressed that I ranted at the boyfriend so that he could give me a Big fat scolding which hoepfully would force me to revamp my life. As always, the all-knowing boyfriend knows cajoling and consoling do not work on me. Sigh!!! Sorry for the rants. I know people generally hate emotional posts but I don't want only to blog about happy times and pretend I've the perfect life. On the side note, thanks for leaving your sweet comments in the previous post, I feel better already! I'm gonna post a picture of the goodies and reveal the winner in the next post!

I won.

Hi, I did this layout quite some time ago but forgot about posting here! Love the kebayas that we got to wear during the MSI finals that I've to scrap it! Details: This is Shine and me in the lovely Kebayas sponsored by Moo! They're so gorgeous and I can't wait to wear them again for my portfolio as part of my Ms Photogenic prize. Yes I didn't win anything except for that! Lol The pageant has definitely been a ride given the short period that I'm given to prepare for it. I was the last to join so I didn't get to know the other contestants well. Of my naivete (as always highlighted by the boyfriend), I was appalled by the ungracious behaviour of some contestants whom I shall not name. Of course there are some others who are extremely sweet, Shine's one of them!! I've learnt so much about human nature, especially on the final night that the real competition is not on stage. The backstage is the where the catfights are. The judges were really fair that night and I lost out on the lousy walk and the ugly posture I maintained the whole night! I almost fell during the rehearsal because of the uneven stage and it struck a fear in me the whole night when I was on stage so my eyes were darting up and down to make sure I would not trip. That's a big NO NO for pageant walks! 2nd factor that attributes to the lousy performance: I was way too conscious about my revealing gown that I can't help but place my hands near my gown so that I would not over expose myself. You'll then ask, why then did you choose such a revealing gown? Here's my take. The lady on the fitting day promised to alter for me as the gown's too big so she sewn this tiny buckle on the halter strip but the weight of the gown was too much for it to bear and so it gave way during the final rehearsal that day. I wanted to try on the gown left by a contestant who was forced to withdraw due to irregular attendance for practices and before I get to take it off the hanger, this very assertive contestant came up and forced me to let her try first. I agreed and that marked the last contact I had with the gown. This resulted the revealing gown that made me uncomfortable the whole damn night as my parents and BOYFRIEND were sitting right in front of the stage. See why I was insecure the whole night? This is how revealing my gown looks!! Arrgh! Taken with the nicest winner I've ever met, Wei Ee, who is heading the young SWA (Singapore Women's Association). I'm going to see her more as I've signed up as a volunteer to help the less fortunate! With Annabelle, this year's winner! She's such an elegant lady. Beng chye, the official photographer, gave me the Ms Photogenic prize. lol Well, there're several other upsets behind stage which really affected my mood a great deal that night but above them all, I managed to keep my cool. It didn't come from me alone, I'm dead sure about it. It all came from Him. I could've blown my top and thrown a big tantrum. Or be mean and nasty and force the hairdressers and make up artists to touch up on my hair and face the whole night. Or snapped at the one who denied me of a better fitting gown and not allow her to try the gown first! I didn't do all these because I want to please God. I kept thinking about Jesus all the while and he told me that I'll make the Father unhappy if I were to bite others just because they did the same to me. I've this adamant feeling that God didn't want me to think about winning that night, he wanted me to think about doing the right things. Doing things that would make him proud of me as a Christian. I prayed for those who hurt me that night and the nights that followed. I won that night because my heart was right with God and nothing else mattered. :)

When frustration sets in...

I'm constantly being reminded of how people value worldliness. This is a money-minded world consisting of people who are more concerned about material well-being over emotional well-being or health and relationships. This is what my pastor termed as worldliness. The world we're living together is so consumed with getting the most luxurious house (never mind it being next to noisy shopping malls strewned with a sea of people and honking cars as long as it is located in Orchard Road), the fastest car (never mind that you can't speed above 90km/h in Singapore and you get stopped by at least 3 traffic lights ahead of you as long as it shouts branded!), and the latest gadget (never mind that the next big thing say iphone 3rd generation is coming to town the next day and the price of yours will drop by more than half its value).

This is worldliness. Because we live in a world full of temptations, we want to live up to it. Because the devils hype up these temptations, we want to live the life the world deems as COOL and desirable. Because we want to be seen as the 'in' crowd, we allow ourselves to be dictated by the devils and their temptations.

Someone important in my life has always been trying to convince me that I should get a rich husband or at least boyfriend so that I can lead a comfortable life. That someone has an argument with me this morning over my job.

Being a tutor has no prospects. Your income isn't fixed and your students will leave you sooner or later. You should get a 9 to 5 job so that you can get promoted and get bonuses. This is not a real job. You've no CPF contribution and you're gonna die without any retirement funds. You've no right to comment on my gambling habits because you didn't lend me money to clear my debts!

I retaliate by yelling back at her. For that, I'm sorry. No one deserves to be yelled at. Then again, no job in the world should be insulted. I feel that I've the most wonderful job and I'm so angry that I yelled because the job that I love is insulted, and so am I. I'm not tutoring because I can't find a job and therefore I'm doing it temporarily. I'm not tutoring because that's the only thing I can do. I'm in this because I've a passion for it. I've no CPF contribution but you know what? I'd rather save up the 20% I get every month to set up my own educational center so that I can do research and help more kids. I've no rich boyfriend but you know what? I'm happy taking the train and bus or cabs with a boyfriend whom I can connect to rather than put up with some snobbish rich boy who will probably underestimate everything I do and slap my dignity (if there's any left) with his parents' money. I've no intention of ever trading this job for a 9 to 5 office job where I've to put up with nasty bosses and be on my toes with hypocritical co-workers. No job security? Well, I can work for the company for decades and still get retrenched one fine day when the economy crashes. I've my dream and goals to work towards and I guess it's something to be thankful for. It's never about working for money and power. It's about doing something meaningful to help others and yourself. It's about making a difference, big or small. I'm extremely delighted when my students improve their grades or when they thank me for teaching them something after lessons. I'm really grateful when my sweet students give me little gifts of love on Teachers' Day or on my birthday. I'm really pleased when they look forward to each lesson with so much energy, knowing that my efforts in preparing for lessons is worthwhile and that we're going to have a good time. These are the perks that no other job can offer. So to the important someone out there, I'm really frustrated that you can't see through this world the way I see it. When I see everything through Christ, everything becomes clearer and I've never felt safer than before. How can I ever convey God's message to you that we should never be after this worldliness? It's Devil in disguise and we're at constant battle with it. Everything looks so rosy in a facade. All these things will pass but not God's words. One can never serve two masters (God and money) and I'll pray for you to come to God's side soon.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:23-24

This scary man

I did this wedding album cover some time ago for someone whom I thought was a friend. I have to rant here because I need to get it off my chest. This person who almost ruined the first half of my life came to me and asked me to forgive him as he is also saved by Jesus. I did and the next moment, he came knocking on my door in the middle of the night even after I firmly said NO to going out for supper with him. He told me he wanted to do business with me but seriously, why will you wanna discuss about business at 3am on a cold freezing night? I was naive enough to take on the assignment given by him out of goodwill to help him with his new venture. Only charging him the material fees of the layout, I had a hard time meeting him up for the album that I've to alter. After I've altered it, I realised I ran out of the MM swirl wedding paper to do the backing of the album so I told him that I had to delay passing the album to him. He started to rant about how unprofessional I was and I was like, Fine, you can have the incomplete album first while I source for the paper. I painstakingly went to all the scrapstores I can find in Singapore to get the paper but to no avail. So I told him I'm going to order it from Two peas from US and the shipping will take about a fortnight. I paid quite a sum for shipping but all I cared about was to get the job done. Little did I know, the integrity of being a responsible scrapper was ill-deservingly slapped with the rude events that followed. I called him the moment I received the parcel and immediately arranged for a date to meet. It was fixed on the next day and he pulled out a few hours before the set time. Then we arranged for a time the next day but I overslept. It was not my intention but I was way too tired after working on rushing out a newsletter for my tuition kids. I apologized profusely and asked to meet again. For the next few meetings that were supposed to take place, he stood me up with excuses such as his gf was driving his car so he couldn't get out without a car; he had an appointment with other people and etc etc.. I had enough! Before I get really impulsive, it being my very nature since young, I consulted my bf and close friends about what to do with him. They advised me not to work with him anymore but I insisted on one last chance. I sent him this message: Hey, if you are not able to meet me again tomorrow, I will not complete the work for you so it's fine if you do not pay me. Was I rude?!! Not at all, according to my survey of more than 10 people. Well you can tell me if I am rude here. By my standards, I deemed it right to send a pre-requisite so that I will not be taken for granted. This was what he replied: Please improve on your working attitude. I'm your client, not your worker. If you want to be rude, I can always look for someone else to do the job for me. I was raged! For giving him one more chance so that he can break my heart. For hoping that he will one day stop hurting me. For wanting to patch up with him as one of the greatest commandments by God is to love your enemies. For letting my closed ones down as they've warned me countless times never to go near such a dangerous person. For knowing that there's a deep hole right in front of me and still putting my foot in it, thinking that it will miraculously seal up on its own. Seriously, can someone pour me with freezing cold water so that I can wake up and stop this dream of being purely friends with this man who has hurt me so much? Flashbacks of the scary things he has done in the past came back to haunt me. I remember him sitting real close to me in lectures during my jc days to 'test' if my then-bf will be jealous. I remember him waiting outside my class during recess to talk to me about being truthful to my then-bf about all the 'shameful' things I've done in my sec sch life. I remember him being angry when I didn't want to be his gf when he broke up with a gf of 3 years over me. The gf hates me btw. I remember him calling my then-bf to say all the nastiest things about me to him and asking him to break up with me. I remember being so frightened of him that I trembled each time he called or messaged me. Why didn't I remember all these scary things when I told him I've forgiven him? I'm sure I have mistaken God's will. I should forgive him but I should never have allowed him to come close to me. Not even a text message away. Not even an email away. Not even a call away. I've lost the guts to even hope that we can be just friends for this lifetime.

Lovely kids I have

Hi, I'm back after a short break. I've decided that I should do away with the rants and start creating again! I've more layouts to share to count down to the blog-anniversary! Not-so-new layout: Our Everyday Conversations This is one of the most meaningful layouts I've done. It's very simple, done with only stamping on cardstocks with no pattern papers. Albeit its simplicity, it documents the everyday topics Yappy and I talk about. I wonder if we will ever run out of topics cos we're both soooo talkative! To be honest, he is one of the very few guys who can hold sincere, straightforward conversations with me without the impression management involved. Of course, I still prefer that he keeps the EGO in check at times. Otherwise, we share many 'intellectual' opinions about psychology research ideas, how to help manage our families well and most of all, how to help my tuition kids improve! We have one of the most intriguing (not!) chats on the way home tonight. He was complaining that I don't seem to have time for him, my friends and sometimes my family. Then we started 'analysing' my schedule and I realised I spent way TOO much time with my tuition kids! I am not sure if I should be called a workaholic though because I don't get paid for the extra chats and outings with the kids! Ironically, I spend my happiest times with my 'kids'. (I was told by the kiddos not to call them kiddos anymore because they're going through puberty so I'm told to call them by their names. LOL as if I care!) Every time I spend time with them, I get all nostalgic when they tell me about their school lives which I have fond and bad memories of. Kids are the purest beings in the Abraham race. When they're angry, they show it by throwing tantrums. When they're sad, they cry. When they're happy, they laugh. I feel very real with them because I don't have to be extremely careful with words, don't have to put up with formalities and pretences, don't have to do what the world deem as appropriate, don't have to hide anything or lie, don't have to worry about people with ulterior motives. I can be at total ease with kids and this is without questions the best perk of my job. I don't get it when the adults around think that I've no prospects working as a tutor. Initially, I fought for this job that I love by telling them that this is no ordinary job because I'm going to change not the whole world but at least touch the lives of the kids under my care. I'm going to have my own center where I can put all the wonderful ideas into actions. After some time, I wear out and ignore people who do not share my view that I have one of the most enjoyable jobs in the world! Will I be happy working in an office with office politics and trying to close deals to fight my way to the top? Will I be happy having to entertain clients or bosses after work and rushing home to write reports? That is surely hell for me. What can be more fulfilling than helping smart students achieve their potential and the weaker students to improve leaps and bounds? What can be more fun than bringing the kids to outings where we play games and gain knowledge? What can be better than to chat with them about life lessons so that they can make wiser choices about the path they will soon have to take? They're so innocent and so full of potential for me to mould. Why will I want to trade this job for any other job in the world? My dear Zhi, Boy boy, Bubu, Ron, Xiao Qing, Shuangyu, Shuanghui, Xue xue, Qin yi, Sean, Jill, Shannon, Winona, Cylene, Jiji, Vera... This is for you! Know that I love every single one of you! :)

It has been all good

I've finally get my last exam done! Phew!!! It's full of emotions as I finished my final paper on last Thursday. Not only because I've completed my four not-exactly-memorable years in NUS but the number of years I spent studying in my life so far. It has been a long 16 years of educational journey, 18 if you count pre-school! I feel so OLD and KNOWLEDGEABLE. lol It has been all good. The skills I learn in school are nothing compared to the life lessons I learn from meeting people from all walks of life. Really thankful that I get to be educated and I'll never pass up the chance to learn more! It really has been all good! Thank God for all I have. Though I was only given one true friend in the past 4 years, I feel really blessed. He turned out to be the man whom I love dearly! I guess these are a few of the rare pictures taken in school. Rushing here and there between tutoring and school, between burning countless midnight oil for my assignments (always one day before the deadline, bad I know!) and marking homework for the kids, between having quick chats with my poor bf and struggling with guilt every time the boyfriend has to accompany me through tuition and even attending lectures of modules he is not in.. While people my age are partying hard at clubs on ladies nights and busy socializing in campus activities, I'm like a 'ninja' in school. lol Always disappearing after lessons to teach at two places and getting the boyfriend to print my assignments in school so that he can hand in the hard copies. I feel so bad every time he begged me NOT to do my assignments so last min as he might die from a heart attack running here and there to meet MY deadlines. Gosh. I still have no idea how much shit I got him into. To the neglected friends of mine, I'm so sorry for being the busy bee for the past years. It's difficult to even fork out time to have dinner with my family at times. So a BIG apology to any 'neglected' friends and the very much 'abused' boyfriend here! I'll be free from now!! Please date me! :)

Post Christmas frenzy

Hi, I've been so busy the past few weeks that I realized I've not posted for more than a fortnight! Anyway I've been scrapping quite a bit and I'll let the pictures do the talking! The bookmark my favourite little cousin, Ron, 'pestered' me for weeks! I added the train felt from Queen & Co because he loves Thomas trains. This is the closest to that I can find for him! Did these two layouts with Jillian and Shannon! I helped them with their layouts and they totally loved them! This is Jillian and her pink xmas layout! This is Shannon and her 'Bombastic Hair' layout! My favourite layout so far for this festive month! It is made specially as a Xmas present for Yap!! Totally love this reindeer! I almost forgot to put this up. My altered item of the month, DREAM. I love this word. The only word that brings me beyond my imagination. It is in this that makes life worth living. It's been rather quiet this Christmas. No presents, no parties, no dressing up and for the first time, no last-minute shopping. It's quite therapeutic to spend it this quietly in a such a tranquil manner. I'm starting to speak like an old lady, well I've always felt out of place. Like an old lady trapped in a young woman's body since years back. I'm beginning to accept this though. How's your Christmas?

Compulsive Gambling

The old adage notwithstanding, money is not the root of all evil, compulsive gambling is. To put it in dichotomy, there are 2 kinds of peope in this world, the first kind who gamble within their limits and the second who do not. Most of us, like myself, are the the first kind. You gamble when you make a wager with your friends, you gamble when you get attracted to bad jerks, you take a major gamble they day you marry your husband or wife. Point is, everyone gambles. When we are born into this world, we are taking gambles so we are the first kind of people to begin with. I'm stating the above because I'm pretty comfortable with the first kind of gamblers, being one myself. What I hate and despise most (at least for now) are the second kind of gamblers whom I affectionately call COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS. They are the ones who gamble without limits. They even dare to gamble what they do not have. Just like compulsive borrowers (shall be ranted some other day), they are people whom I refer to as people who lack foresight. They execute things without thinking of consequences but unlike law offenders, they are not persecuted by the law and so, 'sad to say that these people disrupt their own families and when desperate, may even turn to committing crimes. Am I exaggerating? I hope not, because I've seen cases of people turning to crime to feed their vices. These people devote their ives to making gambling their only job and when they lose, they borrow and pile up mountains of debt. When this happens, they leave their loved ones with no choice but to pay for them. Yes, I expect life to be unfair but it has to be reasonable most times, not? To date, I've not seen any gambler make a home out of a winning fortune, yet I've seen countless gamblers bankrupt and implicating their families and friends shunning them. It's sad, I know. That's why it has always been my principle NEVER to help any gambler friends with loans. I know I will do them more harm than good. They always give the same pathetic, desperate face but seriously, what right do they have to waver your heart when it is their mistake to bear? Today, is the FIRST and the LAST time I'm helping someone clear debts, not because I'm going against my principles, but it is for blood. This person implicated my brother into gambling. It will be my brother's first and last brush with this menacing habit. As for the compulsive gambler, I sincerely hope he will mend his ways. He looks like such a good boy, but he has an unforgivable habit. I don't care if I'm going to be berated for shaming them. I'm sharing this because I personally want to drive home this message, especially to compulsive gamblers, that gambling is an ENDLESS RUT. By being so self-centered, you're not only going to hurt yourself, you're going to hurt those who love you.

Love is selfish.

I've never seen such a self-centered girlfriend. And I believe my friend doesn't deserve one. But to my dismay, he's sadly another "xiao nan ren". Being a feminist, I'm definitely not for the idea of having a man less than me. Being the weaker sex, I only wanted an equality of some sort with mutual understanding between a couple. I know that's difficult to achieve but it's not impossible. Sometimes, I do wish that fools in love can be more rational. But then again, who am I to judge when I had such a miserable love life when I was younger?

Regrets

Regrets... I've too many regrets. Every time I choose a way, I tend to look at the alternatives that I could have chosen. Today, someone told me that doing that will only slow me down. This scares me.

My fugly habit

I'm a perpetual latecomer. And even I myself have enough of that. It's just not suffice to say that I've a family culture of latecomers to cultivate this bad habit of mine, nor reasonable enough to say that my secondary school friends used to hold competitions to vie for the 'latest latecomer' award during outings. I just have to face it. Being incessantly late has caused me more distress than I thought. I thought that by being late for tuition, I could make up for the lost time by keeping the kids back. Wrong. I'm such a selfish tutor. Have I forgotten that the kids might have something on later? They make it a point to be early for tuition, but all I do is to keep them waiting. And releasing them late. It's not about giving more time. It just says a lot about what kind of a person I am. And the after effects of being late? Guilt, guilt, and guilt. Not only am I late for tuition. I'm late for scrapbooking classes which I paid dearly I'm late for outings with friends I hardly have time to meet up with I'm late for lectures and worst, tutorials I'm late for family dinners (my whole family's always late) I'm late for driving lessons (I overslept for the latest lesson) I'm late for appointments to salons or anything of that sort In fact, I'm late for every single appointment on my itinerary each day. I'm such a disappointing being, ain't I? Talk about living by my own principles. If I can't even correct this bad habit of mine, what principles can I ground myself on? This issue, has been bugging me for years. I need to change. It's a must.