Is that annual blues for real?

Sorry for not blogging as often as I would like to.

I've been holding back most of the time because I'm going through a rough time recently and I am not sure if I want to spoil your day if you're hopping for some inspiration or happy posts.

Well, I'm definitely going to be positive about this so just bear with me while I rant alright? :P

It's a lot to do with my relationship with my loved ones.

I have been working too hard I guess.

I always tell people who tell me to relax that I've a goal, to earn as much as I can so that my Dad can retire right away. If only I am capable enough.

Sadly, it doesn't take any brain to know it will backfire.

Working day and night, not having adequate sleep and even forgetting to take my meals regularly have become the worries of my parents.

I thought that they would be proud to have a daughter working hard to give them a better life but it turned out all wrong.

Then I stopped in my tracks, and realised that I've no one to turn to when I want to relax.

I've been too indulgent in my work that I forgot to make time to bond with friends, family and the boyfriend.

I've idolised working for money and not for God.

What an ugly confession but how real it seems to me right now, 

just after a session of quiet time with God.

He is amazing, really.

Makes me see things as clear as day.

So I've decided to relax a little, on weekends.

Not to worry so much about the never-ending work, not to worry about my students' exams too much, not to worry about feeling guilty when I don't work for a day (criteria for a true blue workaholic by the way).

I'm going to make my days more meaningful by just spending the day with my boyfriend at the beach(we've never done that!).

By having a long dinner with my parents without having to rush off to do my work.

Waking up early to go for a run and a swim perhaps?

I've not done such healthy routines for a long, long time..

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

That's my birthday resolution this year.

What do you think? :)

Scrappy Sunday #8

Hello!

Apologies for logging in late if you've been keeping your eyes peeled here!

My past weekends including this (no less) have been burnt out by my students' exams.

And the bad news is, it's not gonna end anytime soon! :(

I can't tell you how tired I am but I really look like the most lethargic girl in the world that my mum felt sorry for me and showed it for the first time in her life.

I really gotta stop the old folks from worrying about me, my late nights, workaholic nature and all.

Still, I kept something to share this post.

Something I've done quite some time ago for a class sample (again!).

This is it!

Papers from Websters pages lullaby lane collection, swirls from Prima, butterflies punched out from Martha Stewart punch, roses from prima, alphas from Websters pages, pearl string from stash, Pearl sticklers from Rangers, love verse stamped from Catslife Press

Websters pages again, with a punch of love.

I can't tell you how appreciative I am to be invited for classes and birthday parties for little kids.

To spread the love of scrapbooking is one of the best things in my life right now and I wish time could stop just a little longer for me to immerse myself in the joy of creating.

Thanks for stopping by.

Please pray for my boyfriend's faith to be unshaken in unfortunate events (he lost his new iphone despite being extremely careful with it and it happened too many times to be called a coincidence). 

I'm equally upset that there're thieves or finders keepers out there who could live without a single trace of guilt that they've ruined someone's day or even faith. 

Do keep the prayers coming for my boyfriend and the sinner who stole his phone.

Thank you and have a blessed week ahead! :)

Ben (Connie Talbot)

Ben, the two of us need look no more We both found what we were looking for With a friend to call my own I'll never be alone And you my friend will see You've got a friend in me Ben, you're always running here and there You feel you're not wanted anywhere If you ever look behind And don't like what you find There's something you should know You've got a place to go I used to say, 'I' and 'me' Now it's 'us', now it's 'we' Ben, most people would turn you away I don't listen to a word they say They don't see you as I do I wish they would try to I'm sure they'd think again If they had a friend like Ben (A friend) Like Ben (Like Ben) Like Ben I can cry a bucket of tears each time I hear this song. I wish I've a friend like Ben, to lean on when I'm sad, to laugh with when I'm happy.

berserk maid

Today, my maid went berserk. Not the violent mad, but the "holy" mad. In her final attempt to get out of my house to "go out", she dressed herself all in white, knelt in front of my mum and begged her to make my whole family into muslims. She apparently wanted to go to the mosque to pray to god to wash away all her sins. You should see how mad she is, taking deliberate small steps all the way to the maid agency below my house. Scaring my usually-domineering mum to tears. I think it's the first time my mum's defeated by a maid. What can I say? She's acting mad. Like we're idiots, she continued her acts, trying to run away twice at the agency when I'm not present. In front of me, she's intimidated. Cos I don't take any of her conniving acts. Stupid, conniving acts. I called the police to scare her, I threatened to send her to IMH. I have to say she's one tough nut. She refused to budge. But I got my deal. The useless police is only called in so that I can claim back the money she stole from us rightfully from her pay. That bitch. WASTED my whole friday. My students ended up paying games with my stand-in tutor instead of having proper lessons. I wanted to slap her so much but luckily I managed to keep my cool. Why should a qualified, educated person like me succumb to dirtying my hands on such people? She kept begging my mum to take her back and made up stories such as being instigated by someone else. Come on, why should we waste your talent? You should go back to Indonesia and join some acting contest. I'm sure to root for you. The most heartening highlight of the day: She smiled sarcastically at me when I gave her the pay, saying she's not crazy at all. At least I know she's not really mad. That bitch.

I'm actually unhappy

Sorry Slave, I know you tried your very best to make me happy today. But I just can't be happy these days. I'm the sort of unhappy-when-things-don't-go-my-way person, but most of the time, I want to be fair. I may be pissed when I'm criticized but I ALWAYS reflect on myself when I'm alone. I'm wrong when I bathe and sleep late in the wee hours. I'm wrong to study just days before my exams. But I don't think I'm wrong to work my butt off. I paid for my hp bills since sec2, do you? I never once take any pocket money during school vacation in my sec sch days, do you? I worked for months just to earn my dream phone in sec 2, do you? I paid for my own stationery, clothes and shoes since secondary school, do you? You said that I chose to work like a dog so I have no right to ask for money from Dad. Right. It has been agreed that Dad will pay for my contact lenses every half a year. Nothing else. I don't take a single cent from him for anything else, unless you count paying for my school fees. You don't work or study for more than a year, slack at home and still get your pocket money week after week. Never once did I confront you about slacking at home or still asking for money from Dad. What right do you have to say that of me? I feel so bullied. So what if I earn alot? That's because I worked damn hard, harder than anyone my age. I study till evening and still have to rush for tuition everyday till night. Sometimes I'll miss my meals, don't get to see any tv shows, don't get to do what I enjoy. Sometimes I have to sleep late at night, marking students work or doing my own school work. Every single cent is hard-earned. I am never rendered any help from you people, no matter how tired I am. I don't need any sympathy, neither do I need any unreasonable insults from you. I leave you alone when you refuse to work and still take pocket money shamelessly. All I want is for you to leave me ALONE too. You don't have to help me, I will appreciate it if you can leave me alone, really. I'm so fed up with this bloody parasite-feeding home. All you learn is to get things without working for it. I'm no parent so what can I say? As a psychology major, I can only call it indulgent parenting which will lead to negative life outcomes. As an elder sister, I gotta say I don't take unreasonable rantings as constructive criticism. As a daughter, I feel helpless that I can't help in any way. Maybe the best way for me to help is that I leave things as they are. Maybe, I should leave this unhappy house. I don't call a house without love a home. My motivation is earning my own keep, your motivation comes from "I'm still studying, so I can still take pocket money".

Driving..

Today Slave Yap reminded me to book my driving. He has been nagging me to book the lessons for quite some while. Arrgh.. Feel like a loser again! Cos I've been reminded that I failed my driving in May! I better pass it this second time. Moody Learner