This scary man

I did this wedding album cover some time ago for someone whom I thought was a friend. I have to rant here because I need to get it off my chest. This person who almost ruined the first half of my life came to me and asked me to forgive him as he is also saved by Jesus. I did and the next moment, he came knocking on my door in the middle of the night even after I firmly said NO to going out for supper with him. He told me he wanted to do business with me but seriously, why will you wanna discuss about business at 3am on a cold freezing night? I was naive enough to take on the assignment given by him out of goodwill to help him with his new venture. Only charging him the material fees of the layout, I had a hard time meeting him up for the album that I've to alter. After I've altered it, I realised I ran out of the MM swirl wedding paper to do the backing of the album so I told him that I had to delay passing the album to him. He started to rant about how unprofessional I was and I was like, Fine, you can have the incomplete album first while I source for the paper. I painstakingly went to all the scrapstores I can find in Singapore to get the paper but to no avail. So I told him I'm going to order it from Two peas from US and the shipping will take about a fortnight. I paid quite a sum for shipping but all I cared about was to get the job done. Little did I know, the integrity of being a responsible scrapper was ill-deservingly slapped with the rude events that followed. I called him the moment I received the parcel and immediately arranged for a date to meet. It was fixed on the next day and he pulled out a few hours before the set time. Then we arranged for a time the next day but I overslept. It was not my intention but I was way too tired after working on rushing out a newsletter for my tuition kids. I apologized profusely and asked to meet again. For the next few meetings that were supposed to take place, he stood me up with excuses such as his gf was driving his car so he couldn't get out without a car; he had an appointment with other people and etc etc.. I had enough! Before I get really impulsive, it being my very nature since young, I consulted my bf and close friends about what to do with him. They advised me not to work with him anymore but I insisted on one last chance. I sent him this message: Hey, if you are not able to meet me again tomorrow, I will not complete the work for you so it's fine if you do not pay me. Was I rude?!! Not at all, according to my survey of more than 10 people. Well you can tell me if I am rude here. By my standards, I deemed it right to send a pre-requisite so that I will not be taken for granted. This was what he replied: Please improve on your working attitude. I'm your client, not your worker. If you want to be rude, I can always look for someone else to do the job for me. I was raged! For giving him one more chance so that he can break my heart. For hoping that he will one day stop hurting me. For wanting to patch up with him as one of the greatest commandments by God is to love your enemies. For letting my closed ones down as they've warned me countless times never to go near such a dangerous person. For knowing that there's a deep hole right in front of me and still putting my foot in it, thinking that it will miraculously seal up on its own. Seriously, can someone pour me with freezing cold water so that I can wake up and stop this dream of being purely friends with this man who has hurt me so much? Flashbacks of the scary things he has done in the past came back to haunt me. I remember him sitting real close to me in lectures during my jc days to 'test' if my then-bf will be jealous. I remember him waiting outside my class during recess to talk to me about being truthful to my then-bf about all the 'shameful' things I've done in my sec sch life. I remember him being angry when I didn't want to be his gf when he broke up with a gf of 3 years over me. The gf hates me btw. I remember him calling my then-bf to say all the nastiest things about me to him and asking him to break up with me. I remember being so frightened of him that I trembled each time he called or messaged me. Why didn't I remember all these scary things when I told him I've forgiven him? I'm sure I have mistaken God's will. I should forgive him but I should never have allowed him to come close to me. Not even a text message away. Not even an email away. Not even a call away. I've lost the guts to even hope that we can be just friends for this lifetime.

My lovely house!

I love this house so much that it slept beside me for two nights! I've finally finished altering the Maya road house over two nights of really hard work! The front of the house! I used lots of Crafty secrets family stickers here. You can tell how much I love my G45 papers! The butterflies and the border bottom are from Making Memories. The side of the house I spent lots of time on the details of the windows. I'm glad it turned out prettier than I thought! The roof is my sister's favourite part. I wonder if she saw that I attached a cross on it. (My whole family are non-believers, just in case you don't already know) This house is so going to be blessed by God! :) The backyard of the house This is MY favourite! I had the idea of making shelves for the rocking horse and clock at my aunt's place days ago. She had a little windmill house and it has shelves of flowers in it. Praise the lord for the inspiration! The other side of the house Did I mention that I spent a crazy 3.5 hours on die cutting and painting the fences? I'm such a sloooow scrapper.. But the Sizzix fence die is really one of the best buys I've ever made! :P More details below... Okay, your eyes can rest now! More pictures coming up in the next few days! Thanks Pooi and my other kids for encouraging me to try for the DT call. It's really fun to go on a scrap maniac the past few nights!

The winner is...

The winner of the RAK is...

True Random Number Generator Min: Max: Result: 5 Powered by RANDOM.ORG

The Crazy World! said...

Hey! SCARPAHOLIC!! WISH you a happy blog anniversary!!! you are really a wonderul tutor and a different tutor!! you really sacrifice lots of ur time jus to plan outings for us!!! THank You very much!!1

Please email me your address at wuling_18@hotmail.com so that I can mail these out to you! :) After days of contemplation, I've decided to try out for MWL's DT call again! The deadline is on Thursday and now I'm in a panic as I've to rush out a layout featuring Sizzix products! I'm seriously drained out as I worked the whole night of whopping 8 hours on this Maya road house without rest! I wonder if I can ever beat this record! This is how messy my desk looked at 4am last night! I will probably update again tonight with pictures of the house. Thanks for dropping by!!! :)

I'm back!

I'm back after a long hiatus! I realised I've not blogged for almost a month! Blogging has taken a backseat but definitely not hoarding sb stuff and scrapping. lol Guess what I've been busy with in June? Modeling for Singtel at BCA, Taking part in a barefoot walkaton with the other MES winners, Doing a fashion show for Raffles Design Institute at Vivo city, Hosting a roadshow for the very first time for Miss Earth Singapore 2009! An excursion with the kids to Botanic Gardens, Busy organising the Young Scientists' Day for the kids & preparing for my graduation ceremony which was held on 8th July! Still uploading the photos of my work.. More to share in my next post! Thanks for dropping by! PS: I know I've not drawn the winner of my RAK! So sorry as I'm still trying to contribute more yummy goodies into the RAK! I'll announce the winner in my next post! Thanks so much for leaving love in my previous post! :)

Blog anniversary :)

Today's my blog-anniversary! Can't believe I can actually keep up with this blog for a year! I'm giving away a little RAK I've put together. Sorry for the lack of picture of the RAK as I'm 'moving' into my new laptop. I'm including Luxe papers, DCWV papers, creative imagination foil kit, bazzil brads, ribbons, prima flowers and a bottle of my favourite flowersoft! I will include a picture of it hopefully in the next few days.. All you have to do is to leave a comment to win it! :)

Lovely kids I have

Hi, I'm back after a short break. I've decided that I should do away with the rants and start creating again! I've more layouts to share to count down to the blog-anniversary! Not-so-new layout: Our Everyday Conversations This is one of the most meaningful layouts I've done. It's very simple, done with only stamping on cardstocks with no pattern papers. Albeit its simplicity, it documents the everyday topics Yappy and I talk about. I wonder if we will ever run out of topics cos we're both soooo talkative! To be honest, he is one of the very few guys who can hold sincere, straightforward conversations with me without the impression management involved. Of course, I still prefer that he keeps the EGO in check at times. Otherwise, we share many 'intellectual' opinions about psychology research ideas, how to help manage our families well and most of all, how to help my tuition kids improve! We have one of the most intriguing (not!) chats on the way home tonight. He was complaining that I don't seem to have time for him, my friends and sometimes my family. Then we started 'analysing' my schedule and I realised I spent way TOO much time with my tuition kids! I am not sure if I should be called a workaholic though because I don't get paid for the extra chats and outings with the kids! Ironically, I spend my happiest times with my 'kids'. (I was told by the kiddos not to call them kiddos anymore because they're going through puberty so I'm told to call them by their names. LOL as if I care!) Every time I spend time with them, I get all nostalgic when they tell me about their school lives which I have fond and bad memories of. Kids are the purest beings in the Abraham race. When they're angry, they show it by throwing tantrums. When they're sad, they cry. When they're happy, they laugh. I feel very real with them because I don't have to be extremely careful with words, don't have to put up with formalities and pretences, don't have to do what the world deem as appropriate, don't have to hide anything or lie, don't have to worry about people with ulterior motives. I can be at total ease with kids and this is without questions the best perk of my job. I don't get it when the adults around think that I've no prospects working as a tutor. Initially, I fought for this job that I love by telling them that this is no ordinary job because I'm going to change not the whole world but at least touch the lives of the kids under my care. I'm going to have my own center where I can put all the wonderful ideas into actions. After some time, I wear out and ignore people who do not share my view that I have one of the most enjoyable jobs in the world! Will I be happy working in an office with office politics and trying to close deals to fight my way to the top? Will I be happy having to entertain clients or bosses after work and rushing home to write reports? That is surely hell for me. What can be more fulfilling than helping smart students achieve their potential and the weaker students to improve leaps and bounds? What can be more fun than bringing the kids to outings where we play games and gain knowledge? What can be better than to chat with them about life lessons so that they can make wiser choices about the path they will soon have to take? They're so innocent and so full of potential for me to mould. Why will I want to trade this job for any other job in the world? My dear Zhi, Boy boy, Bubu, Ron, Xiao Qing, Shuangyu, Shuanghui, Xue xue, Qin yi, Sean, Jill, Shannon, Winona, Cylene, Jiji, Vera... This is for you! Know that I love every single one of you! :)

I've to let it out.

I'm trying so hard not to lose faith in scrapping. Maybe I've dived into scrapbooking too fast too furious. Maybe I feel inadequate as I've always been an overachiever. Maybe I feel like an oddball not being a scrapper mum with cute kids to scrap about or good cameras to take beautiful pictures (which make all the difference in the scrapping world). Maybe I don't feel comfortable having staff who do not seem to like me even though patronize the store week in week out. Maybe I'm too demanding, not only as a scrapper but as a person on the whole. (I'm a willing party who welcomes feedback so if you seriously have some issues with me, please say it right to my face. I can take anything given that I've a more screwed-up life when I was younger than anyone I've met.) Maybe I'm taking my hobby too seriously. Maybe I am not proactive enough in making small talk and getting people to like me. Maybe I just don't belong to the local scrapping community here. I've been putting up with releasing the pent-up feelings for the longest time. The only one who will never fail me is God and I pray that he can give me the strength to go through the disappointment and to embrace this fallen world with sinners. I also pray that as a sinner, I'll be forgiven and have the generosity to forgive those who are against me. Sorry for ranting. I can't possibly be cheerful 24/7 but I do get over things pretty fast with God's help.