Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Hi there! I've finally moved! I hope the kiddos will leave me at that! A few updates!! Really appreciate my dear friends who take time out to celebrate lumpy and my birthday.. Happy apple cum lumpy day!! The 3 behind doing their usual pose Love my girlfriends! Love Fun and her BIKER friends. Lol! Love jing and the phone chat we had a week ago. Love lumpy for her place to "nua"! Yappy and I! Wondering why I'm in a good mood today?! My first stamp shipment just arrived!! Hee I am so excited about packing the respective goods for Lena, Gladys, Grace and Yvonne that I decided to try the new alphabet stamps as a big name tag for their goodies! This is real fun.. It was Rebecca's 21st birthday last Sunday and I'm so proud of myself for making a guestbook for her! Did her make-up for her as well. Here are the pictures, as someone complained that my blog is too wordy! I coloured the cat and balloons!! I just so love Penny Black stamps and Prima flowers! Still, I will keep this blog MY venting outlet when I'm unhappy, so too bad for not being crowd-pleasing! Back to doing my term paper, arrgh!! Can't believe I can have a happy post today! It must be scrapbooking, it must be. :)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
So my birthday's over and as expected, it's the worst birthday I ever had so far. No one to blame as it was self-intended. Why was it intended? Simply because I'm very unhappy with my life and I was hit by an even unhappier news on the eve of my birthday. My world came crashing down once more (ever since the rocky years in sec sch) and this time round, it's got nothing to do with my friends or in relationships. It's something personal and I doubt I'll ever have the courage to pen it down here. Being a Libra, I've always looked forward to my birthday with high expectations and great hopes. Never once have I been happy since the 15th birthday but I never gave up. Until this birthday, I've completely zero expectation for it to turn out fine. All I want is to run to the deserted beach and yell my head off OR hide in an empty house and cry the day off. I'm not hard to please. Never once had I asked for a branded present or anything. In fact, I never conjure any "birthday presents" I want from anybody. I always and still believe that birthday gifts should be expressed from my loved ones' hearts, now what I want them to give me. I'm always grateful for anything my friends give or make for me. But this year, all I want is to spend the day alone. No fancy birthday wishes, birthday songs, cakes or presents. Having all these just accentuate the misery in me. Sorry I sound depressed but I think I really am. Now I'll go back to crying because only the lizards can hear me at 5am. On the side note, I appreciate the many friends who sent me well wishes, they really made my day. Thanks. :)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
KIDDOS, Please let me have some privacy! I'm going to change my blog address cos I found out that my tuition kids stalk me not only in real life but on internet too!! Arrgh.. Not that I'm afraid to let them see anything here, but my blog has never meant to be kid-friendly, which means that every single word I make here has to be censored. I hate having to censor every single word, having been on censorship ever since I tutor. SO, I'M MOVING OUT, real soon!
Dear blog, From now on, I will only have you to pour my heart out. Everyone's too busy for me, even myself at times. My family is falling apart and I've never been more miserable. I still remember the last time I was this miserable was when I fell out of love. My school work is overloaded and overdue for a long time but I just have no mood to do anything about it. My life is seriously screwed, even though I'm trying my best to stay afloat. Any jobs to recommend me this coming December? Even though I have always looked forward to Christmas every year, be it receiving or giving, this is my most dreadful year. I hate Christmas and my birthday, more so than anything else.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I just uncovered something about individual differences. Not mentally and physically, but social economically. While some people are born with silver spoons and they spend money like water and drive lambos, there are people slogging for the most part of their lives, just to clear debts and be squashed like sandwiches in the train. Wanna know what other variations there are? Living parasites who have no idea they are born with wooden spoons and still have illusions that their parents can feed them with the latest mobile phones every other month. Ouch.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Life has been rocky for me lately. My family is in a mess and my school work is piling sky high. On top of all these worries, I'm gonna be "temporarily out of job" soon since my tuition kids' exams are over! Roars... The only consolation today is a pleasant surprise. Slave Yap bought an early birthday present for me! Hehe Here it is! French connection clothes!! Let's welcome the latest membership card to join the mountain of cards I've to trolley along during shopping trips!
Monday, October 6, 2008
I swear I've never felt so tired in my entire 22 years on this Earth. The last straw came when I couldn't move an inch when I woke up from my nap during lesson today. My friends have to "un-cramp" my body parts to ease the stiffness in me. Tears roll down my cheeks as I had never felt anything like this before. Have I reached the end of the road? I used to be able to stay awake without sleeping 3 days straight to play mahjong. Sigh.. I guess I've passed the limits of what a 22-year old body can take. I finally understand what Slave Yap has been going through. It's called "burnt out" in psychology, a concept I never identified with until today. I've always been tired, teaching 6 days a week and getting by with mediocre grades in school. Catching up with friends and family can be considered the precious moments with whatever time I can squeeze out of my packed schedule. "ME" time? I don't even have time to think about it, let alone the last time I indulge in it. This is really the climax. Sleeping for one hour almost everyday for the past week, juggling my kids' PSLE, children's day preparations to making last minute overnight attempts to finish my 5000 word term papers and studying for tests due on Saturday and Monday mornings. Who can be in a worse plight than I am!? Then I think of Slave Yap, my fellow prisoner-of-war in this academic struggle. He's taking 7 modules (I'm struggling with 6) Has a thesis to excel in (for his first class honors) Has to moonlight doing tuition to pay debts And sometimes taking out time to help me in school work and coach my kids. Thinking about the relative suffering he is undergoing just makes me feel better. I know I'm evil, but I can only make do with consoling myself this way for now..
Thursday, October 2, 2008
My dear prof Elliot aroused me from my drowsiness of attending his 3-hour seminar (okay, 2.5 cos i was late for a good half an hour!) with a funny joke. 3 men were chatting with each other. The first man said "You know what sophistication is?" He continued, "Sophistication is going home to find your wife in bed with another man and you close the door and gently walk away." The second man said, "No, no. Sophistication is going home to find your wife in bed with another man and you say "Please carry on." before closing the door and gently walk away." The third man said, "Hell no! Sophistication is being able to carry on whatever he is doing with the wife after the husband says "Please carry on."". This is so darn cool. Not many people get his joke the first time and all I heard were sniffles and giggles. Maybe that's how my fellow course mates react to 'Sophisticated' joke. lol