Thursday, October 23, 2008

Birthday woes

So my birthday's over and as expected, it's the worst birthday I ever had so far. No one to blame as it was self-intended. Why was it intended? Simply because I'm very unhappy with my life and I was hit by an even unhappier news on the eve of my birthday. My world came crashing down once more (ever since the rocky years in sec sch) and this time round, it's got nothing to do with my friends or in relationships. It's something personal and I doubt I'll ever have the courage to pen it down here. Being a Libra, I've always looked forward to my birthday with high expectations and great hopes. Never once have I been happy since the 15th birthday but I never gave up. Until this birthday, I've completely zero expectation for it to turn out fine. All I want is to run to the deserted beach and yell my head off OR hide in an empty house and cry the day off. I'm not hard to please. Never once had I asked for a branded present or anything. In fact, I never conjure any "birthday presents" I want from anybody. I always and still believe that birthday gifts should be expressed from my loved ones' hearts, now what I want them to give me. I'm always grateful for anything my friends give or make for me. But this year, all I want is to spend the day alone. No fancy birthday wishes, birthday songs, cakes or presents. Having all these just accentuate the misery in me. Sorry I sound depressed but I think I really am. Now I'll go back to crying because only the lizards can hear me at 5am. On the side note, I appreciate the many friends who sent me well wishes, they really made my day. Thanks. :)

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