When frustration sets in...

I'm constantly being reminded of how people value worldliness. This is a money-minded world consisting of people who are more concerned about material well-being over emotional well-being or health and relationships. This is what my pastor termed as worldliness. The world we're living together is so consumed with getting the most luxurious house (never mind it being next to noisy shopping malls strewned with a sea of people and honking cars as long as it is located in Orchard Road), the fastest car (never mind that you can't speed above 90km/h in Singapore and you get stopped by at least 3 traffic lights ahead of you as long as it shouts branded!), and the latest gadget (never mind that the next big thing say iphone 3rd generation is coming to town the next day and the price of yours will drop by more than half its value).

This is worldliness. Because we live in a world full of temptations, we want to live up to it. Because the devils hype up these temptations, we want to live the life the world deems as COOL and desirable. Because we want to be seen as the 'in' crowd, we allow ourselves to be dictated by the devils and their temptations.

Someone important in my life has always been trying to convince me that I should get a rich husband or at least boyfriend so that I can lead a comfortable life. That someone has an argument with me this morning over my job.

Being a tutor has no prospects. Your income isn't fixed and your students will leave you sooner or later. You should get a 9 to 5 job so that you can get promoted and get bonuses. This is not a real job. You've no CPF contribution and you're gonna die without any retirement funds. You've no right to comment on my gambling habits because you didn't lend me money to clear my debts!

I retaliate by yelling back at her. For that, I'm sorry. No one deserves to be yelled at. Then again, no job in the world should be insulted. I feel that I've the most wonderful job and I'm so angry that I yelled because the job that I love is insulted, and so am I. I'm not tutoring because I can't find a job and therefore I'm doing it temporarily. I'm not tutoring because that's the only thing I can do. I'm in this because I've a passion for it. I've no CPF contribution but you know what? I'd rather save up the 20% I get every month to set up my own educational center so that I can do research and help more kids. I've no rich boyfriend but you know what? I'm happy taking the train and bus or cabs with a boyfriend whom I can connect to rather than put up with some snobbish rich boy who will probably underestimate everything I do and slap my dignity (if there's any left) with his parents' money. I've no intention of ever trading this job for a 9 to 5 office job where I've to put up with nasty bosses and be on my toes with hypocritical co-workers. No job security? Well, I can work for the company for decades and still get retrenched one fine day when the economy crashes. I've my dream and goals to work towards and I guess it's something to be thankful for. It's never about working for money and power. It's about doing something meaningful to help others and yourself. It's about making a difference, big or small. I'm extremely delighted when my students improve their grades or when they thank me for teaching them something after lessons. I'm really grateful when my sweet students give me little gifts of love on Teachers' Day or on my birthday. I'm really pleased when they look forward to each lesson with so much energy, knowing that my efforts in preparing for lessons is worthwhile and that we're going to have a good time. These are the perks that no other job can offer. So to the important someone out there, I'm really frustrated that you can't see through this world the way I see it. When I see everything through Christ, everything becomes clearer and I've never felt safer than before. How can I ever convey God's message to you that we should never be after this worldliness? It's Devil in disguise and we're at constant battle with it. Everything looks so rosy in a facade. All these things will pass but not God's words. One can never serve two masters (God and money) and I'll pray for you to come to God's side soon.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:23-24